|
| It hurts me so much to know that one day you might not be here anymore.
Any day now you might be taken from me and I won't know what to do.
I can't stand hearing you talk about the end...I want to know that there's a future.
God, where are you in my life?
akfsdaf
| | |
| TIRED.
tired tired tired of it haha
keeping me on a leash and you dont even know.
dont even know what you want.
dont even know if its me that you want.
very tired of it.
__________________________________________
Life isnt fair.
How is it fair for the bad people to walk the world free of care, and to watch good people go around with a death sentence over their heads?
I just need more time... to make it up.
Time. That's all I need.
Time to catch up.
Time to listen.
Time to speak.
Time to bond.
Time to reconnect.
Time to make memories.
Time to make a difference.
Time to make a change.
TIME.
That's all I ask for.
So why is it that you put a time limit?
Why are you giving him an expiration date?
How can you live life when society calls for you to go to school, apply for college, live up to their expectations...when in the end it won't matter, because in the end...it won't matter
It won't even matter.
So why is he wasting his time?
To me, it's a waste. To him, it's a blessing.
To me, reality sets in and he can be gone. To him, its a dream...just trying to live as a normal kid.
To me, time is draining his life. To him, time allows him to live.
But in the end.
What will be left?
Because his time would have already ended.
"All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Or wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter"
-In the End: Linkin Park.
This was my first favorite song, and it will always be .
| | |
| i have never felt so hopeless.
i feel handicapped.
it's my fault.
i'm sorry
on a brighter note..
my friend is getting married..
and im her bridesmaid! yay..
| | |
| It took forever to get my flu shot and I took it like a man! whoo! haha jk
I'm very scared of needles, but I know not to tighten my muscles due to painful experiences in Korea where I had to get my butt/hip shot...
I couldn't sit down for a week without feeling pain haha
"Esther, don't share food with anyone, if you shake hands with someone- wash your hands, if you hug someone- shower, always wash your hand wherever you go, don't kiss anyone and don't be too close to sick people!"
Words of wisdom from my dad.
So I think I would do some good and pass it down to you : ) haha paranoia!
My sidekick is messing up a lot :( Time for a new phone, but I don't want any different one.
I think I like my sidekick way too much though, when I was taking a nap few minutes ago, I had a dream that I was in a T-mobile store looking at all the phones, and disliking each one of them, screaming "Where's the sidekick!?" haha, not to that extent...but yeah...Turns out it's a sidekick thing. 4 of my other friends who had/has the sidekick tell me they have the same problem too- it turns off randomly, deletes contacts if you don't save to SIM card..
but mine doesnt allow me to look at pictures, or play any music.. i think my memory card is busted too.
Ahhhhhhh! If I just had that hamburger phone from Juno , I would be really happy and probably use that all the time, even though its a home phone . haha It's so cute! I'm going to get it :)
   
Haha and my friend is getting the french fries one :)
But yeah..I need a new phone....hrmm...
| | |
| Hahahahaha. :D
I'm in a great mood! Tired, sleepy, but happy :)
I haven't been to church in 2 weeks, and one could actually get comfortable with that, which kind of scares me.
I don't want to be comfortable not going to church. I do want to go, I don't want to be lazy or give an excuse to why I haven't gone or anything.
I felt kind of guilty, but then I would brush it off by thinking "oh, well more time to do hw," or "more time to sleep or hang out with friends".
It's so easy to feel comfortable, to not care about going to church. I've heard so many people say "Yeah, I'm a Christian, but I don't go to church." True, you can be a Christian and not go to church....but....maybe it's different for everyone, but I think that...yeah...you should go to church if circumstances allow it. I mean, why not? Do we all go just to serve God and listen to sermons? I bet half of why you actually go to church is to see your friends, hang out a bit, play basketball, eat, etc...I'm definitely guilty of that.
I remember someone today came up to me and joked "hey! where were you for 2 weeks, you traitor!?" Haha, he called me a traitor because he assumed that I went to my parent's church for the past 2 weeks that I haven't been in Hanbit. The thing is, I rather be a "traitor" because at least I am praising God....instead, I gave a lame excuse of "oh I slept in and past the sermon," or "yeahhh stuff happened..." , etc...which I it just feels like I'm giving excuses now that I think of it. Today, I actually was super tired and didn't feel like going to church...but I guess my conscious came over me and I realized that.. Hey, I'm perfectly healthy and half awake enough to go to church. Stop being so lazy and get up! haha so...I went to church.
.Sorry for my lame excuses, sorry for not attending, sorry for not even worshipping when I was at home, sorry for a lot of things...I've gotten to used to not going to church for 2 weeks, and that's scary. I will be better and try to definitely go to church every Sunday! haha and Fridays if I can make it :D
Oh and the title of my entry is called "Set Trenders" haha, inside joke :)
P.S. David if you are reading this, thank you for the card, it's a very....thoughtful card. I can see you put a lot of time and effort writing such...nice...things about me haha. David you are such a Set Trender hahaa
| | |
|
